Time to drop the ambiguity. When you are sure she is attracted to you, go for it. Kiss her, do whatever. It’s all in your court now. I can’t tell you how to cross that line. Everyone wants to do it differently, and every woman wants it differently.

I will tell you this, though, don’t obsess over it. Relax and let it happen naturally. But don’t take this dating paradigm shift too far and expect her to grab you and kiss you. It may happen, who knows? But don’t count on it.

Chances are she will be waiting for you to make that first move and if you wait too long after she has given you countless signs, she will likely give up and move on. After all, giving you those signals is often the closest many women come to hitting on a person. Don’t play too many games.

Many men have problems here with hesitating. A certain amount of hesitation is natural. But whatever you do, don’t wallow in self-doubt for too long. If you’ve made it this far, she definitely wants you. Think of it like this: you are dropping a bomb. At this point, you know you have to drop it because you know she is interested. You’re afraid of possible negative consequences, right?

Well, there won’t be any. And if there are, drop that bomb and then deal with it. See, the anticipation of a bad event is really where all the trouble is. It’s like when you’re waiting to break up with someone. The most difficult and agonizing period is leading up to the bomb drop. But once that bomb has been dropped, no matter how bad the explosion is, you are suddenly a soldier who is fighting for his life with shrapnel all around you—that part of the experience is so simple because you know just what you need to do, take cover and survive.

The same goes for a happy explosion. You drop that bomb. She kisses you back. You both know just what to do, and the agonizing is over. What’s the worst thing that could happen? You try to kiss her and she pulls away. Well, this is either because your intuition failed you, or you’re about to discover she’s a neurotic mess. In either case, you’ve learned something very valuable. With the former you can discover where you went wrong and use it to improve your abilities. If it’s the latter, you can still get her if you really want to, but you also have a unique opportunity to see her at her worst.

You can decide whether she’s really worth it now.
And what is most likely to happen? You kiss someone you’re really attracted to and she kisses you back! Little else is better in this world, my friend. Don’t put that kind of joy off. (You probably don’t want to ask a woman if you can kiss her—I’ve heard too many women complain about that sort of thing to recommend it, but hey, if it works for you, do it.)

But you can also begin calculated physical contact that is socially acceptable. Remember when I told you about women accidentally touching your arm when they talk to you? Do things like that to her. See if she does it back. Try hugging her goodbye or upon greeting her and see what she does. When you approach her to talk to her, come close and put your hand on her shoulder. All these sorts of moves will invoke positive responses in a woman who is interested, and small acts of physical contact like this will mount and eventually, a kiss will be inevitable.

And when it is, drop that bomb. The explosion will almost certainly be a good one. If you know she is interested, throw the rules of this guide out of your head and go for it. Our work here is done.

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For now, here is a list of some things that most women do to passively-aggressively tell you they are interested:

1. Making You Fit The Bill. Women will often find a way to tell you what they want from a man within the first few minutes of conversation, particularly if they’re interested. If you find them doing that early on, it means they are likely attracted and are beginning to feel you out as a potential mate. Don’t get nervous, but you’re being interviewed. (Remember to interview her back!) And if she is more than interested and begins to feel that you are what she wants, she will let you know that as well. Just let the conversation drift to the subject of relationships or dating. You will begin to hear her preferences and she will make sure that you fit into them all, even if she has to dodge around. If you are daring and naturally manipulative (remember, I don’t recommend game playing), you can experiment with doing the opposite—that is, mentioning something that you don’t want out of a relationship, which you know she has. Unless she’s a quitter, she will challenge you on it. When she does, let her change your mind. (But again, I don’t recommend this stuff. If you’re not naturally good at it, you will look like a game-player and she will get turned off.)

2. The non-existent love life. This signal is its clearest when you’re getting to know a woman slowly over a period of time, and you wonder if she’s interested in you. Some men work slowly. If you do, this sign is a good one to watch for. If you have talked about everything under the sun and she has never ever mentioned that she is interested in someone else, has had a date recently, is dating anyone, or if she talks about her aloneness frequently, this is a good sign. If you are a crazy man and are pursuing a woman whom you know is involved, you will notice a similar treatment of her boyfriend when she is interested in you. He will disappear in conversation. She will even go out of her way to avoid bringing him up and will only mention him when she absolutely has to—and will also avoid calling him “my boyfriend” when she does. But again, this is a slippery slope my friend, so watch out.

3. Laughing and Listening. If you tell a joke here and there and are noticing that this woman is laughing at absolutely every joke you tell (even the bad ones), she is trying to tell you something, and it’s not that you should go into standup comedy. Similarly, if absolutely everything you say seems interesting to her (even the boring crap), she is not trying to tell you that you should go on Larry King.

4. Intentional Trailing. If you have picked an activity which has a classroom-like setting—in other words, chairs and desks or tables to sit at, and you come into that place after she does, notice if she is sitting where you were sitting the last time. If you come in early, sit in a different spot and see if she sits near you or next to you. This sort of behavior is conscious and different from the unconscious sort-of meandering trailing that occurs unintentionally.

5. Compliments. This is a twofold indicator. One, she is telling you that she approves of you. This is a great sign. It also means you should compliment her back. This doesn’t mean you should ever compliment a woman while expecting something in return, but when a woman compliments you, if you haven’t already, you should work a compliment into the conversation when it’s appropriate. Just do it and move on, though. Don’t ever compliment expectantly.

6. Not Taking The Easy Out. The reason why compliments are such a big deal is because they could mean that a woman is interested. That is to say, she is not afraid of you “mistaking her” for being interested. The point I’m trying to make here is that most women are generally paranoid about leading men on (there are exceptions, don’t get me wrong). Your average woman will do her best not to do anything that will lead you to believe she might be interested in you if she is indeed not interested in you. So rather than paying attention to what she does say, it becomes really important to pay attention to what she doesn’t say or do. Point #2, The Non-existent Love Life is somewhat of an example of this, but it bears having its own category because there are a wealth of possibilities here. The best I can offer you is a series of examples.

Perhaps you offer a woman a ride home. Here is an opportunity for her to say “I better not.” But she doesn’t. She gets into your car. That counts for something. You ask her if she would like to have lunch with you tomorrow. She could say “like a date?” But she doesn’t. She doesn’t even hesitate. She just says “yes,” enthusiastically. The easiest out there would be for her to say she can’t for whatever reason, to make up some excuse. But if she says yes, that counts for something.

There are countless conversational examples. Perhaps you say “last night when my friend picked me up, he saw me talking to you. He thought you were a new girlfriend.” Here is an opportunity for her to laugh a little too hard at this prospect, but maybe she does nothing but smile. But don’t get me wrong. These don’t all have to be hints or propositions. In fact, this sort of thing happens most often by accident during conversations. Sometimes it takes mulling over a conversation after you have had it in order to uncover these hints. It is best if you can observe these naturally and not try to make them happen. Again, games work against you.

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